So I’ve been struggling lately to inject new ideas and points of interest into the blog, and not just say the same thing over and over again. In order to, shall we say, juice things up a bit, I’ve decided to also review books with female narrators who don’t measure up to the Pickychick Standard of Awesomeness.
Thus, behold the new Pickychick Scale of Awesomeness (PSA), by which all future books will be rated:
Angelina Jolie (AJ) = This is the ideal Pickychick book. These protagonists are independent, intelligent, engaging, brave, or unique girls who tell a great story and remind you of yourself. They are thrown into crazy situations beyond their control, and they cope as well as they can. Their stories are about endurance or the eventual hope of triumph in the future, as they are certainly falliable and probably have some human faults that cause a lot of drama. They generally try to do the right thing, but they aren’t perfect, they’re real. Examples include Jane Eyre, Anne Shirley, Wise Child, Lyra Silvertongue, Jo March, Katniss Everdeen, etc.
Wonder Woman (WW) = This is for independent, intelligent, engaging, kind, noble, brave, and unique women who run the plot. They are the standard to which we all aspire but might not actually be literally able to reach. Often they have magic, or magical weapons, or are otherwise aided beyond normal means. Rarely do they have damaging flaws. We’re talking Harry Crewe from The Blue Sword, Nancy Drew, Cimorene from The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Sabriel, etc.
Jennifer Garner (JG) = This rating is for a really awesome chick, saddled with a mediocre story. On her own she’s the best, but because her plot/writing/etc is so weak, she’s likewise weakened. For the purposes of the blog, she’s an AJ, but the story she’s stuck in is so terrible I feel guilty recommending it.
Jennifer Aniston (JA) = We love Jen, but have to admit that she hasn’t put out a decent movie in a decade, nor has she been making wise choices in the man department. Thus, the books meriting her rating have their heart in the right place and are trying to give you a great heroine but fall just a bit short. These are books like The Mortal Instruments, The Luxe, If I Stay, and so on.
Bella Swan (BS) = As you might have guessed, characters who rate this one are generally weak, subservient, boy-crazy, girls who don’t take control over their own life. They might also be catty or gossipmongers who The main plots are usually driven solely by melodrama. These are, in my opinion, stories from the bottom of the barrel that provide poor examples for young readers and should only be treated as satire. The best example is the girl that this rating is named for, Miss Isabella Swan.
So keep your eye out for some thoughts on some other books you might have seen but not seen addressed here. Again, this is merely Pickychick opinion being put forward and not an official judgment, and just because a book may not rank highly on the PSA doesn’t mean it’s not a perfectly enjoyable read!
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the new edition!